What If There Is No Emotional Support In A Relationship?

Reviewed by: Jennifer Plisko, LCSW

Establishing a deep, meaningful relationship with your partner, as well as other important people in your life, is what contributes to your mental health and well-being. In a healthy relationship, you’re able to connect with the other person, understand them on a deeper level, and both give and receive emotional support. 

In fact, emotional support is an essential aspect of a healthy relationship. It not only brings partners closer together, but also gives them the strength to overcome numerous challenges in their relationship and life in general.

This is why the lack of emotional support can be detrimental to both a relationship and a person’s mental health. Whether due to emotional intimacy issues and emotional distance in a relationship or feeling that you’re in an unequal relationship, some individuals may find it difficult to open up emotionally and provide their partners with the emotional support they need. 

What Is Emotional Support In A Relationship?

How Important Is Emotional Support In A Relationship

What does emotional support actually entail in a relationship? Is it simply encouraging someone to go after their personal goals or listening to them? While these are important aspects of emotional support, it also entails the feelings of compassion, empathy, encouragement, acceptance, and concern for your partner. 

In meaningful relationships, emotional support is offered from both individuals and brings them closer to each other. It also helps you establish a foundation for your future together. Additionally, the practice of offering emotional support provides a foundation for being able to resolve conflict kindly, see your partner from a place of reality, and attach securely to one another.

How Important Is Emotional Support In A Relationship?

Giving and receiving emotional support benefits both your relationship and you individually. 

  • It deepens your relationship. Being in a supportive relationship brings you closer to your partner and helps you establish a deeper level of intimacy and trust. Knowing that you can rely on your partner and give each other support and compassion will also help you overcome challenges in your relationship in a healthy way. 
  • It contributes to your mental health. Having emotional support from the people who matter to you the most means that you feel loved, cared for, and accepted for who you are. On the other hand, it’s not uncommon for people who lack emotional support to feel undeserving of love, believing that they are the reason behind this, which further reflects on their self-esteem. 
  • It helps you overcome serious problems. As an important aspect of mental health, emotional support plays a crucial role in overcoming serious problems in life. Having a partner and family members who support you can help you deal with immense grief in your life or be an effective way to relieve stress and anxiety
  • It helps you achieve your personal goals. Emotional support can also encourage you to go after your personal goals and work on yourself. If you lack emotional support, you can also lack confidence and determination to go after what you want and need. An emotionally supportive partner will believe in you even when you don’t believe in yourself. 

Since emotional support has such a great impact on relationships and personal growth, its lack can sabotage your every attempt to get closer to your partner. This is why many individuals decide to work on this issue through emotional support and emotional intimacy coaching where they identify the underlying problems and take steps to resolve them. 

How Do You Show Support In A Relationship?

If you believe that you haven’t been supportive enough in your relationship, you can take actual steps to change this. There are numerous ways to provide someone with emotional support, but the most important thing is to recognize the problem and work actively toward changing the negative patterns that have been sabotaging your relationship. 

Fortunately, expressing emotional support is an ability that you can grow into, especially if you believe that you have been the withholding one. 

How to emotionally support someone

How you express emotional support to your partner may greatly depend on the nature of your relationship and your personality. However, there are some common ways you can emotionally support your partner and show them that you are there for them. 

As for some specific steps you can take, here are a few suggestions that can help you deepen your relationship and enrich it with mutual feelings of emotional support. 

  1. Be more empathetic

    Empathy is a crucial part of emotional support. It allows you to put yourself in your partner’s shoes and understand their point of view. By nurturing empathy toward your partner, you will not only provide them with emotional support, but also understand them better and make your relationship stronger. 

  2. Listen to them.

    Sometimes what people need the most is to be listened to, especially at a time of emotional distress. It’s important that you learn how to listen to your partner without any judgment or criticism. You should listen just for the sake of listening and not waiting for your turn to talk. 

  3. Pay attention to your partner

    If you want to emotionally support your partner, you need to give them your undivided attention. This means putting everything else on hold, turning off your phone, and minimizing all possible distractions.

  4. Express your love and appreciation

    Saying “I love you” or making even small gestures of kindness regularly can really make your partner feel valued and supported. It’s important that you’re always loving and caring and not just when you feel that your partner might need it.

  5. Acknowledge their feelings

    Don’t try to explain to your partner why they feel the way they feel or diminish their feelings. Show that you understand them even if you don’t agree with them.

  6. Maintain physical intimacy

    Holding your partner’s hand or giving them a hug is a simple, yet effective way to strengthen and deepen your relationship.

How Do You Overcome Lack Of Support?

However, what if you’re on the receiving end? That is, what if you’re the one not receiving emotional support from your partner? While this can be highly discouraging and have a negative effect on your mental well-being, there are a few ways you can deal with this and overcome possible challenges it presents. 

  • Practice self-love and self-appreciation. If you feel that you’re too dependent on what your partner or other people in your life think of you and if you need their “approval” to do something, you should try to work on your self-esteem. Practicing self-love will help you become self-sufficient and don’t let the lack of support from others prevent your growth. 
  • Determine whether you’re with the right person. If you believe that your partner doesn’t support or value you, they may not be the right person for you. While leaving them behind may sound difficult, it may be a better option than being in a distant, withholding relationship. 
  • Try to understand your partner. If you believe that your partner doesn’t provide you with emotional support, try to determine why. Perhaps they feel insecure, afraid to open up emotionally, or hesitant because you’ve just started your relationship. Also, your partner may not have had emotional support in their life, so they don’t know how to give it. 
  • Seek professional help. If you and your partner want to overcome relationship challenges, you should consider signing up for emotional support and intimacy coaching where you will be able to address your problems and work actively on resolving them. 

Overcome Emotional Intimacy & Support Issues With PIVOT

How Do You Overcome Lack Of Support

Enrich your relationship by learning how to give and receive emotional support through the PIVOT process. Our Advocates can provide you with personalized individuals coaching guidance that will help you deal with personal issues that may be hindering your relationship. We also enable you and your partner to work together on your emotional issues by joining intensive couples’ workshops where you can make a quick, yet long-term change. Start making progress today!

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