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COMMUNICATION
DYNAMICS
Let’s Talk About It
At Healthier Hour this month, we explored some common communication dynamics that couples (of any kind) experience. Isn’t it interesting how a conversation with one person flows easily and connects you to your purpose, and a conversation with another person can leave you feeling misunderstood and alone? The language might be the same but the comprehension couldn’t be more different!
Gridlocks are a frequent communication dynamic we work with at PIVOT. When the topic of conversation has great value to you, the chance for miscommunication grows. This is because we often have important conversations unprepared. Our Invitation Module can help you thoughtfully approach a conversation that will honor yourself and respect the person you are communicating with, and they often lead to connection.
Using some simple Healthy Adult language swaps can go a long way, too! One phrase I’ve been using a lot lately is, “Would you consider…” instead of, “You should…”
Get Ready, Get SET, GO
SET Communication has become one of our favorite tools and clients say it is one of the most impactful tools they’ve learned from PIVOT. Framing a response this way can help you avoid being drawn into conflict, drama, or debate. Here’s an example I’ll take you through using the situation of one partner expressing their frustration around wanting more quality time together.
Summarize: I hear that you are wanting more time together. I hear that you miss connecting with me.
Empathize: I can understand how hard it is to feel disconnected from me.
Truth: I have been feeling overwhelmed lately and needed extra time to myself. I am going to make the effort to spend time with you outside of our normal interactions. It’s been a few weeks since we’ve taken a walk together and I would love to take one with you this weekend. Do you have time for a walk together Saturday morning?
SET Communication can really change the trajectory of a conversation. Give it a try and let me know how it goes!
SET Communication
S: Summarize
Begin by reflecting back on what someone is saying to you.
E: Empathize
Communicate your ability to understand and recognize the other person’s feelings.
T: Truth
Share what is true for you. What are you able and willing to do to resolve or mitigate the situation.
6 SIMPLE QUESTIONS
A final thing to consider: You have more control over the outcome of a conversation than you might think you do, because you have control over yourself. Checking in with yourself before you have an important conversation to make sure you are ready is as important as the other parts of your advanced preparation. The following six questions can help you access your Healthy Adult and make decisions from there on how to proceed with a conversation that has great value to you.
- Am I ready to discuss this?
- Am I willing to try something new?
- Are we both correct about any part of this?
- Am I calm enough?
- Are there any clarifying questions I need to ask first?
- Can I be fully present for this?
Are there any crucial conversations you need to prepare for? I hope this helps. It’s great practice even if you don’t need to use the tools right now. As always, if you need help connecting with a coach to get support, send Kayla an email ([email protected]). We are honored to be a part of your pivot into healthier living and relating.
With Warmth,
Want to join a retreat or in need of a tune-up?
Upcoming events at The Glass House
October 2024
- Healthy Adult 2.0 10/7-11
- Healthier Hour 10/21
- Women’s Retreat 10/21-25
November 2024
- Women’s Retreat 11/4-8
- Healthier Hour 11/18
- Women’s Retreat 11/18-22
For Personalized PIVOT availability, please email [email protected] or contact your coach.