Are Some People Meant To Be Single?

Reviewed by: Kiah Enriquez, LCSW

Not everybody experiences relationships in the same way. While some people find intimacy and romance to be effortless and filled with joy, others struggle to make romantic relationships work. If you’ve given relationships a try however they haven’t worked, you may be wondering, like others, that you may be better off single.

Being single can sometimes be the right choice. You may not feel ready to enter a romantic relationship, feel like you need to work on yourself, or simply feel like relationships are not for you. Still, if starting and facilitating a relationship is something you want to work on, attending a specialized workshop may provide you with the resources and skills you need.

In this article, we will discuss what it means to be alone and whether some people are more suited to a solitary life, Read on.

Are Some People Meant To Be Alone?

For many people, being alone can be a frightening prospect. They might yearn to find that special someone and enter a committed relationship with them, and the thought of being alone may terrify them. On the other hand, there are people who seem to be entirely content with being single. They aren’t too interested in entering a serious relationship or any relationship for that matter, and the idea of spending most of their time alone doesn’t sound all that bad.

However, there are other people who might long to be in a relationship and feel included, but they’ve felt rejected or unlovable for most of their life. This can fuel rage and hostility, and cause these individuals to withdraw and distance themselves from everybody in their life.

No matter where you fall on this spectrum, remember that there’s no shame in being single for whatever reason just like there’s no shame in committing yourself to a serious relationship. Everyone is different in the way they approach love and relationships.

Is It Bad That I Like To Be Alone?

If you feel perfectly comfortable spending most of your time on your own, engaging in your favorite activities, why would that be a bad thing? You may feel like being alone gives you a feeling of integrity and independence, or you may embrace your alone time more than other people around you. After all, your happiness is what matters.

If you do feel deep down that you’re avoiding relationships because of a deep-seated fear of vulnerability or a feeling of being unlovable, you may not actually like being alone. But how can you tell? How can you know for sure whether you’re choosing to be alone for your own happiness and wellbeing or shielding yourself from something?

If you’re wondering, consider the following statements and see if they apply to you.

1. You feel genuinely happy when you’re single

For some people, being single and alone can be a source of stress, anxiety, and sadness. These people may feel like their self-worth and self-esteem are diminished when they’re not in a relationship. However, people who truly enjoy being single cherish their moments of solitude. If you feel genuinely satisfied with your current situation and being alone brings you a sense of contentment, it’s likely that you fall into the latter category.

2. You have your ways of doing things

Do you have a routine that benefits you and don’t like when people disturb it? Relationships take a great deal of effort and compromise, and you may have little desire to change your routine. This can be a good sign that you’d be happier being alone in the long run.

3. You’re focused on your self improvement and career

Relationships are not a top priority for everyone. You may be set on achieving your career goals or simply want to become the best person you can be without basing your worth on the opinions of others. You may also have a large group of friends who provide you with the support and connection you need to feel included. If your current life doesn’t leave much room for relationships and you feel content with that, then a single life may be a great fit for you.

4. You don’t feel lonely

There’s a great difference between loneliness and being alone. Individuals who fear being single experience feelings of isolation and loneliness and don’t feel comfortable spending time on their own. On the other hand, people who enjoy being single don’t feel isolated and unhappy when alone. They may be quite friendly, social, and active, while thoroughly enjoying quality alone time. Choosing to be alone doesn’t mean choosing loneliness.

Do Loners Fall In Love?

Often, loners aren’t averse to affection and relationships, they just don’t go out of their way to find them. If you identify yourself as a loner, that doesn’t necessarily mean that you can’t or don’t want to fall in love. It may simply be that you just haven’t met the right person yet. If you do have a desire to enter a relationship, it is quite likely that you’ll run into someone who values your individuality, shares your interests, and respects your alone time.

Can Loners Be Happy?

When you hear the word ‘loner’, you may get the stereotypical picture of an individual who doesn’t like people, withdraws to spend their time inside their own home, and harbors resentment because of their isolated lifestyle. However, many people who enjoy being alone aren’t angry, bitter, or disenchanted, but simply embrace their alone time. They tend to feel good about themselves and appreciate the rich inner world they created in solitude. In fact, their independent and self-sufficient nature can make them rather attractive to others.

The bottom line is that you can be perfectly happy alone, but only if you feel comfortable with yourself and feel no resentment towards others. If you’re not alone by choice and want to change that, however, you can find the support you need to find true happiness in a relationship.

Attend A Relationship Building Skills Workshop And Find Connection

Whether you feel happy alone but want to bring some change into your life or you’re tired of spending your time in solitude, make sure to contact PIVOT. We are a team of compassionate and dedicated relationship specialists who can help you facilitate positive change. We offer both individual coaching tailored to each client and intensive workshops for couples who want to work on their relationship. No matter what your needs may be, you can count on us to provide you with a personalized coaching experience and help boost your wellbeing. Contact us today.