Importance of Self-Actualization in Intimacy

Reviewed by: Cindy Finch, LCSW

People are able to form healthy relationships if they’re operating from their healthiest self and know how to attach securely. When you feel good in your own skin and have a healthy relationship with yourself, you can contribute more to your relationship.

You can achieve deeper self-awareness and become more accomplished in life through the process of self-actualization. It allows you to understand yourself, establish a healthy relationship with yourself and the world, and reach your full potential.

Learn what self-actualization is, how to become self-actualized in a romantic relationship, and how to support your partner through this process. With this knowledge, you may improve the level of intimacy in your marriage or get an idea of how to work through certain challenges in a relationship workshop.

What Is Self-Actualization?

You become self-actualized when you realize your full potential, know and operate from your capabilities, and adopt a deep appreciation for all the intricacies of life. It’s about being the best version of yourself you can be.

People who’ve been through a self-actualization journey have certain shared traits, like:

Understanding: Self-actualization comes from a place of deep understanding of yourself. Establishing a good grasp of your own needs and drives is the basis for self-growth and maturation.
Acceptance: People who are self-actualized accept and love themselves for what they are. Instead of punishing themselves for their perceived shortcomings, they acknowledge them and work on them.
Kindness: Since self-actualization helps you accept yourself, you’re more likely to be kinder to yourself and more compassionate to others. This comes from the knowledge that nobody is perfect and everyone has their own unique potential to uncover.
Connections: Because you’re better able to understand others, you can open up more easily and be more comfortable being vulnerable. You find joy in giving as well as receiving and you thrive when you share your experiences with others.

How Do You Become A Self-Actualized Person

What Is The Difference Between Self-Realization And Self-Actualization?

While these phrases are often used interchangeably, there is a difference between the two. Self-actualization helps you tap into your full potential. On the other hand, people usually define self-realization as a process of gaining a deeper understanding of your character.

While self-actualization is a more modern concept that originated from psychology, self-realization comes from Eastern traditions, mainly Hinduism. Despite slight differences, both concepts put positive change and deep self-awareness into focus. They’re both about learning how to live a healthy, more fulfilling life and adopt a more complete view of the self.

How Do You Become A Self-Actualized Person?

When you start your self-improvement journey, you have a long and winding road ahead of you. It’s a slow, multifaceted process. However, as long as you’re committed to it and go steady, you can make excellent progress over the long term. Here are some strategies to try:

Accept everything life sends your way: If you learn how to accept the good and the bad things that the future holds, you will feel less frustration. If you pick your battles, you won’t get hung up on situations that are out of your control, such as your spouse wanting a divorce, and you’ll focus your attention on the things that you can change.
Forgive yourself and others: Self-actualization doesn’t equal perfection. You will still face challenges and failure at times. However, self-actualized people don’t beat themselves up about the mistakes they make. Instead, they learn from them and move on. They also don’t judge other people for their shortcomings.
Improve what you can: Self-growth means you correctly identify areas for improvement in your life and work on them to make new breakthroughs. However, be careful not to dwell on problems after you’ve exhausted all possibilities for solving them.
See the beauty in little things: Sometimes people get too caught up in negativity and fail to see the beauty that surrounds them. While it can seem trite, being able to enjoy the little things in life is actually a healthy and necessary skill.
Behave authentically: Being yourself without letting outside pressures have an impact is an important part of your self-actualization journey. When you’re genuine, you don’t feel the need to hide or modify your personality so others would accept you.
Express compassion: When you understand yourself well, you can also have a better insight into the minds of others. Just like you’re gentle and forgiving to yourself, you can extend the same kind of compassion to those around you.
Be self-reliant: A large part of being self-actualized is being comfortable when you’re on your own and not depending on other people to reassure you. This doesn’t mean you can’t ask for help when you need it. It means you’re capable of resolving the challenges in your life single-handedly when the situation calls for it.

What Is The Difference Between Self-Realization And Self-Actualization

Can I Become Self-Actualized In An Intimate Relationship?

Self-actualization is an individual, intimate process that everyone goes through on their own. However, having a supportive partner and a healthy bond can help. You can both get farther in your journey of self-discovery by attending a relationship workshop. There you can learn how to identify the areas you need to work on both individually and as a couple as well as healthy strategies to overcome them.

How Can I Support My Partner To Become Self-Actualized?

Self-actualized people tend to have healthier relationships because they’re open to sharing their thoughts and feelings and they have a more positive outlook on life. Nurturing your bond and supporting your partner as they work on their personal development is the best way to help them self-actualize. Be patient with them as they make progress and talk to them about their experiences.

Where Can I Find an Effective Codependency Retreat to Help Me Self-Actualize?

If you’re going through a difficult time because you’re in the middle of a divorce or because you resent your ex for hurting you, PIVOT’s eye-opening retreats can help. In the safe, comfortable setting of our individual workshops, you’ll be able to open up to our relationship advocates and find solutions to your problems, like codependency or love addiction. Couples can also seek our assistance in overcoming issues like unhealthy attachment patterns and love avoidance.