1-855-452-0707Lavish affection and adoration are probably not the first thing that comes to mind when you think about narcissistic abuse. You are more likely to remember some of the more frequently talked about manipulation tactics such as gaslighting, playing the victim, humiliation, and other power and control mind games.
But did you know that one of the favorite narcissistic weapons involves the use of overwhelming flattery and attention? This is known as a narcissistic love bombing cycle, an incredibly effective form of manipulation that pulls you in with promises of exhilarating romance and spits you out feeling dazed, confused, and betrayed.
If you’ve been the victim of narcissistic abuse, know that you are not alone. You can find the resources and support you need in one of the many Glass House retreats designed for individuals dealing with anxiety in romantic relationships and other emotional struggles.
What Is Love Bombing In Dating?
As the name suggests, love bombing entails overwhelming someone, or rather “bombing” them with excessive signs of affection and attraction. This may include a combination of leaving love notes, flattering comments, sending flowers, and many other tokens of affection. The narcissist will shower you with romantic gestures, increasing their intensity and frequency until you feel like you’re on top of the world and ready to relinquish all sense of control to them and nobody else.
The Root Cause of Love Bombing: Narcissistic Supply
Individuals who employ love bombing techniques tend to suffer from a lack of confidence and a deep feeling of insecurity. Their low self-esteem pushes them to seek constant validation and reassurance, known as narcissistic supply. Unfortunately, nothing is ever enough to satisfy their need for approval and fill the void inside of them.
Behind their air of confidence and importance, love bombers feel deep down that they are unlovable, undesirable, and unworthy. In order to feel valuable, they resort to a narcissistic love bombing cycle with the aim of giving their ego a much-needed boost and fulfilling their needs for power and control.
What Is The Purpose Of Love Bombing?
Being showered with affection can be highly intoxicating. The overwhelming positive attention hijacks your dopamine systems, keeping you focused on the source of the love bomb, wanting more. The love bomber will keep you tethered, giving you a taste of what’s to come and then pulling back. This will make you vulnerable to their wide arsenal of manipulation tactics as long as you continue meeting their narcissistic supply needs.
What Does a Narcissistic Love Bombing Cycle Look Like?
Just like many other manipulation techniques, a narcissistic love bombing cycle can be quite sneaky and inconspicuous. It often overlaps with some characteristics of obsessive love and may easily slip under your radar as nothing more than a genuine expression of intense attraction. While you should keep in mind that not everybody who love bombs is automatically a narcissist, it is definitely useful to know how to spot the different forms of this sort of manipulation.
How To Recognize Love Bombing
If you suspect that you may have been a victim of love bombing, look out for the following red flags:
- They shower you with gifts: flowers, love notes, expensive vacations, the list goes on. The love bomber will take every opportunity to profess their undying love, even at the most inappropriate of times.
- Compliments galore: we all love compliments, until they go too far. The narcissist will start complimenting you immediately and intensely, and they won’t stop until you’re stuck deep in their web.
- Endless calls and texts: while it is perfectly normal to want to communicate with your love interest 24/7 when you first start dating, a love bomber may take things to another level. They will call or text you every hour of every day, bombarding you with praise.
- They seek your undivided attention: the narcissist may become angry if you spend time with other people. They will do everything in their power to have your complete focus on them alone, disregarding your boundaries entirely.
- They rush into commitment: if your love interest starts talking about moving in together, getting married, or having kids together after dating you for a very short time, there’s a serious possibility that they are love bombing you.
- They call you their soulmate: you and the love bomber are made to be together, it’s written in the stars. They will try to convince you of this in many ways, making you feel special and loved.
- You feel guilty when you set boundaries: if you try to slow things down and maintain your independence, the love bomber may make you feel guilty and use other manipulation tactics to pull you back.
How Long Does Love Bombing Last With A Narcissist?
At the start of the relationship, the victim of a narcissist love bombing cycle is likely to feel like they are under the spell of a highly potent drug. This phase may last for weeks, months, years, or even longer. However, this emotional high never lasts forever, and the effects will inevitably start to fade, destroying the carefully crafted facade of happiness and stability.
You may start noticing the red flags only when the love bombing phase starts nearing its end. At this stage, the narcissist might begin to devalue you, subtly and covertly, using a wide array of manipulation tactics. This may include humiliation, withdrawal of affection or physical intimacy, avoidance, shifting blame, gaslighting, and more. All of this serves to make you completely dependent on the love bomber for the validation and affection you were once bombarded with.
PIVOT Can Help You Recover From Narcissistic Abuse
Escaping from the clutches of emotional manipulation is rarely easy. If you’ve decided to take the first step toward regaining your power and autonomy, you should feel proud of yourself. Taking back your freedom and control requires immense strength of character and a deep self-awareness.
With PIVOT by your side, you can make peace with your deepest wounds and start rebuilding yourself with confidence. We can help you by offering carefully crafted coaching sessions for individuals or providing guidance via our intensive narcissistic abuse retreats.
Transform Your Life and Relationships With PIVOT
By working with PIVOT, individuals can break free from the narcissistic love bombing cycle, rediscover their own sense of self-worth, and create healthier relationships in the future. If you need help recovering from narcissistic abuse, reach out online or at 1-855-452-0707.