The Old-Fashioned Dating Methods Can Work Today

Reviewed by: Cindy Finch, LCSW

Modern forms of dating, online dating, dating apps, group meet-ups, and speed dating, have become for many, the preferred way of dating over old-fashioned dating.

Getting to know someone takes time…that we can all agree.

The old-fashioned dating approach to dating does still work. It’s not about going back to the traditional dating rules… face-to-face meetings, girls didn’t call boys, the guy always pays.

The rules have changed – it’s become complicated.

The old-fashioned dating methods are based on showing respect and appreciation for the other person while taking time to get to really get to know each other.

Dating is a great opportunity to get to know someone new and see if you’re a good fit together.

Read our list of the best old-fashioned dating methods that still work today and see how you can use them in your dating approach.

1) Spend quality time together with no technology

Put away your smartphone, close your laptop and simply enjoy the quality time together, face to face, the old-fashioned way.

2) Be fully present

Nothing you can give is more appreciated than your fully focused attention. Instead of immediately talking about yourself, start with a question that is focused on them. When you are with your date, give them your full attention. Be present.

3) Express your sincere appreciation

If you appreciate something that your date does, make sure you tell them. Don’t make the mistake of appreciating or valuing someone too lightly. It will be too late once the date is finished. And, if you forget, send them a short text.

4) Focus on inner beauty

The essence of a person is more than just physical. Instead, focus on what’s inside… energy, sense of humor, values, and beliefs.

5) Make romantic gestures

Make an effort to be romantic. Show your appreciation with small gestures that will make your date feel like you care and are comfortable showing emotion.

6) Let him lead

Feminism has come a long way; however, there is still something special about slipping into your feminine side so you can empower your date to be in his masculine. It becomes a welcoming balance.

7) Pay each other compliments

To make your date feel appreciated, remember to pay each other compliments. Just make sure they are genuine. It doesn’t hurt to remind each other that you find each other sexy, funny or sweet.

8) Find someone who makes you laugh

This is sound advice that your grandmother would probably give you. Best of all, research agrees with her. The couples that laugh together stay together.

9) Be chivalrous

There is something sweet about chivalry… bringing flowers to dates, opening the car door, or pulling out a chair. Most feel special with these little gestures. It shows you appreciate them.

10) Make eye contact

When you’re out on a date – don’t be focused on your phone. Instead, gaze into each other’s eyes and see how that ignites your attraction for each other.

11) Take things slow

Although it’s widely accepted that people sleep together on the first date, it’s worth waiting to get to know someone first. This helps to build a real connection with someone first instead of just having a physical connection.

12) Write letters to each other

If you want to express yourself adequately, especially if you are describing something emotional, don’t use text. Instead, write a letter. It’s more romantic, shows you care, and you’ll have plenty of room to really express how you feel.

13) Don’t fight in public

Arguing in public makes things uncomfortable for everyone around you. No one wants to be involved in your disputes. The good news is that if you wait to get home, then you have time to reflect and cool down.

14) Makeup in person

Fighting and making up via text is ineffective. Words can be misinterpreted. Not only that, tone and body language are key to understanding the meaning of communication. When you argue and makeup, always do this in person.

In summary, use the old-fashioned dating methods to show your date respect, appreciation, and interest. Be open. Be yourself. Be attentive.

We recommend trying these tried and tested methods in your dating approach to see what difference it makes in your relationship.

If you would like to learn about our individual coaching program on healthy dating, then contact PIVOT. We’re here to help.

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