1-855-452-0707Relationships are highly dynamic, with different personalities, constantly changing circumstances, and unpredictable life events. When two unique individuals are involved, their histories and temperaments shape the relationship…for better and for worse.
Despite life’s challenges, you can learn how to be a better partner in your relationship. Research suggests that even people with an insecure attachment style can grow to be more secure and, in turn, become better partners. The first step in learning how to be a better partner in a relationship is simply wanting to understand and work on yourself to show up healthier in the relationship dynamic! Once you set your mind to that goal, the rest will follow.
What a Good Partner in a Healthy Relationship Looks Like
Part of how to be a partner in a relationship is continually considering your partner’s feelings and needs in addition to your own. Sometimes, that means making changes or sacrifices. A healthy relationship supports both partners, allowing them to grow as individuals and as a couple.
Qualities of a Partner in a Healthy Relationship
| Qualities of a Good Partner | How It Enhances the Relationship |
| Open | Sharing thoughts and feelings openly creates a vulnerability that lets partners grow closer. |
| Honest | Always being honest allows trust to build between partners. |
| Respectful | Mutual respect creates a give-and-take that lets both partners grow in the relationship. |
| Empathetic | Being able to understand and share a partner’s feelings helps them to feel seen and heard in the relationship. |
| Affectionate | Being affectionate helps maintain a physical and emotional connection. |
| Communicative | Ongoing and effective communication is necessary for resolving inevitable conflicts. |
| Patient | Patience is essential in a caring relationship, as it gives partners time and space to be themselves. |
How to Be a Partner in a Relationship That Thrives
No matter how well-suited you are for each other, it will likely take considerable effort and commitment to sustain your relationship for the long term. Being a collaborative partner means a lot of give and take. So whether you wish to make a good partnership even better or are trying to salvage a relationship that’s in trouble, aspiring to be a better partner will have a significant impact.
Tip 1: Focus on Your Own Health and Happiness
Improving as a partner in a relationship means first working on your own self-improvement. It is very challenging to give your all and create a happy relationship unless you are healthy and happy within yourself first. Focus on your own growth so you can show up fully for your partner.
- Be honest with yourself and acknowledge areas of your life in which you could grow.
- Reframe negative thoughts and behaviors that might be holding you back.
- Allow yourself to be more open to new ways of thinking and new life experiences.
- Take care of yourself, both physically and mentally.
Tip 2: Show Kindness
It takes just as much energy to be kind as it does to be grumpy or rude. At the end of a long day, adjust your tone and attitude instead of taking your frustrations out on your partner. Show your partner you don’t take them for granted by showing them kindness, patience, and care. These little things can add up to make or break a relationship.
- Do nice things for your partner regularly. Small things add up: do a chore they hate to do, bring home a favorite treat for the two of you to share, or give them a hug when they least expect it.
- Support your partner’s dreams. Try to show interest in their hobbies, friends, and work. You don’t have to take up hockey just because your partner loves it, but showing a bit of interest when it counts can go a long way to making your partner feel loved.
- Don’t judge your partner; accept them for who they are. Make them feel safe to be themselves, and they should make you feel safe as well.
Tip 3: Communicate in a Way That Works for You Both
We all know communication is key to healthy relationships, but “good communication” is going to look different for everyone. The key to a thriving relationship is learning to communicate in a way that works for you and your partner. What works for one couple may not work for another – that is the beauty and the work of being in a relationship; you have to learn from each other!
- Learn each other’s love language and show love the way your partner will appreciate it most.
- Learn your partner’s communication styles and preferences. Communicate in a way that they will understand.
- Be a good listener and start observing your partner’s non-verbal cues.
Tip 4: Manage Stress and Conflict in a Healthy Way
No relationship is going to be perfect, and life will throw curveballs at you during the course of your relationship. During challenging times, your partner can be a source of support or a source of stress. It all depends on how you handle conflict and tension, both individually and together.
- Lean into stress management techniques like yoga, meditation, and mindfulness. Bonus points if you practice these techniques together!
- Don’t be afraid to call a time out on arguments and take some space to cool down.
- Decide together that instead of pushing each other away during hard times, you’ll turn towards each other for support.
- Don’t focus on “winning” an argument. In a relationship, you are on the same team. There is no such thing as winning; in fact, if one person wins, the relationship loses.
- Learn to let go. During a long relationship, there will be arguments that don’t have an easy resolution. Consider whether it is worth holding on to, and if not, let it go.
Tip 5: Make Time for Quality Time
It’s so easy to get lost in the hustle and bustle of your days and start taking your partner for granted. Couples who spend dedicated quality time together are more likely to have thriving partnerships. Find a hobby to do together, try a new class, or just carve out a date night once a month. Make time to remind each other how much fun you have together and how far you’ve come.
- Try new things together. Take a trip you’ve always wanted to take, try a new class, or learn a new language with your partner.
- Focus on fun. Reminisce on good old times. Look through photos and share old stories. Remind each other what you’ve shared together and how far you’ve come.
- Carve out dedicated time. Schedule date nights at least once a month. Sit on the porch with some tea and chat for 15 minutes at the end of each day. Making time for each other is essential to keeping your connection strong.
Let PIVOT Help You Learn How to Be a Better Partner in a Relationship
It’s admirable to want to become a better partner for your significant other. However, you might not be sure of exactly where to start, what to do, or how to change your behavior. One of the most high-impact ways to accomplish this ambitious goal is with the help of a relationship coach. Working with an expert in relationship dynamics can provide you with tools and strategies to facilitate lasting change.
PIVOT offers one-on-one relationship coaching for individuals, couples, and families, as well as private couples retreats. If you are wondering how to be a partner in a relationship, reach out at 1-855-452-0707 to begin the rewarding journey to healthier, happier partnerships.