Apathy In Relationships: Causes & Solutions

Reviewed by: Cindy Finch, LCSW

Have you lost interest in things you once used to enjoy? Do you feel like you have no motivation to do anything in your life? 

It is perfectly normal to experience bouts of apathy every once in a while, but when it occurs often, it can have a significant impact on your overall quality of life, including your relationships and work performance. Emotional intimacy coaching and other forms of support can make a big difference if you’re feeling apathetic, so don’t hesitate to reach out. 

In the meantime, read on to find out more about apathy and how you can overcome it. 

What Does It Mean To Feel Apathetic?

What Is The Root Of Apathy

Apathy is defined as a lack of interest or motivation in activities and/or interactions with other people. When you feel apathetic, you don’t feel much of anything – activities that you used to enjoy no longer excite you and make you happy. You might lack the desire to achieve your goals or perform activities that involve your emotions or thoughts. 

While apathy literally means to be “without feeling”, it is nevertheless a feeling itself, as well as an attitude. Unfortunately, this attitude is one of unconcern, dispassion, indifference, listlessness, and detachment. You lack interest to confront the challenges in your life and turn to a life of passivity. 

The common theme that clients share when they are feeling apathy is “it’s hopeless”. 

While most people experience apathy from time to time, it is important to seek support if apathy pervades your life. If not dealt with, apathy can affect your social, professional, and romantic relationships. You may withdraw and distance yourself from your partner and become unhappy in your relationship, struggle to keep a job, or be unable to enjoy life in general. 

Symptoms Of Apathy 

You may be experiencing apathy if you: 

  • Lack the energy to perform everyday tasks
  • Expect other people to initiate or plan activities
  • Lack the motivation to deal with your own problems 
  • Lack the desire to have new experiences, make new friends, or learn new skills
  • Don’t feel any emotions when bad or good things happen to you 

What Is The Root Of Apathy?

People can fall into apathy for a wide variety of reasons. Some common causes include: 

  • Negative feelings and thoughts about yourself: when you feel worthless, useless, incompetent, and generally pessimistic about your life and abilities for a while, it is likely that you might move on to apathy and detachment. 
  • Major life events: feelings of distress, anger, and sadness caused by major events such as breaking off a toxic relationship or getting fired from a job can turn into apathy. Instead of feeling upset or angry, you are completely indifferent. 
  • Being stagnant in your life: if you’re stuck in a boring routine, working 9-5 shifts and performing the same activities every single day, it is easy to forget about your goals and dreams and then feel like you are not living your best life. 
  • Feeling worn down or overwhelmed: apathy can also arise from situations and events that leave you feeling overwhelmed, not bored. Nevertheless, you’re still left with detachment, low energy, and indifference. 
  • Mental health issues: apathy can also be a symptom of neurological and psychiatric disorders such as anxiety, depression, schizophrenia, Alzheimer’s, stroke, and others. This is why it is essential to seek support for your apathy sooner rather than later. 

Does Apathy Go Away?

It is entirely natural to feel apathetic at some point in your life, especially after a distressing event or prolonged periods of loneliness and boredom. For most people, however, apathy goes away with time, and they become motivated to chase their goals and maintain relationships once again.  

If the apathy is chronic, on the other hand, it may pervade your life and keep you from improving your life. The longer you remain stuck in your feelings of detachment, passivity, and indifference, the harder it will be for you to break the bubble. Fortunately, you can fight apathy with appropriate help and guidance, and perhaps with a little push from the people around you. 

How Do You Fix Apathy In A Relationship?

If you’ve been feeling bored in your romantic relationship or detached from your partner, you may be wondering if it’s better to leave and start over or work on your feelings of apathy to bring the spark back. Here’s how you can deal with apathy in your relationship:

Determine The Problem

What are the bad habits that allowed apathy to seep into your relationship? Think about how you communicate with your partner, how you feel about them, and what you think they feel about you. Are there some clear patterns that you’d like to change? Try to pinpoint when and how apathy started to grow. 

Discuss 

Make sure to speak openly with your partner about your feelings of apathy. Tell them how you’re feeling without guilt or blame, and discuss ways in which both of you could make the relationship work. Also, make sure to listen to your partner’s side of the story without placing blame and engaging in personal attacks. 

Engage In New Experiences

New activities and changed routines can help shake things up and hopefully allow you to overcome your feelings of apathy. Whether it’s going on a vacation or going on dates, try bringing something new into the relationship and try to reconnect with your partner. 

Dream Together 

How long has it been since you and your partner had a mutual dream you set out to accomplish? Discuss your long-term plans and wishes with your partner and try to create a dream that motivates the both of you. 

Attend A Relationship Workshop 

There are numerous workshops and retreats designed to help couples reconnect and deepen emotional intimacy. If you’ve been feeling apathetic, attending one of these specialized workshops may be exactly what you need. 

We Bring You Expert Solutions For Building Intimacy In A Relationship

Does Apathy Go Away

If you’ve been feeling disconnected, disengaged, and indifferent, know that you are not alone. At PIVOT, we provide individuals and couples with tailored guidance and support that can help them find the motivation to facilitate positive change. 

Our dedicated staff can help you heal through specialized individual coaching as well as a range of intensive workshops for deepening relationships. Get in touch with PIVOT today and start building a better future for yourself and your loved ones.

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